What does she eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Or does she not eat at all and snack on gold dust? She looks so pretty in all the pictures, even when she dresses herself up in cheap online clothings. I'd like to know what's the secret of looking as pretty, because I know her; I know that she's not pretty, yet here are the pics, she'd managed to turn into somebody else.
I want some fabulous pics too. Tell me how???
It's a pity that at times of crisis you turn your back against your own family mom. You need to know who your enemies are, but when you get frustrated, you start to lose yourself and bite the hand that feeds you. Aren't you old enough to control yourself? Aren't you too old for tantrums?
I'm not gonna be watching your back anymore and you ought to realise that as soon as you regard yourself as a reasonable being to talk with. I'm staying because of Dad and my brother, as well as my cousins and friends whom I will miss. Of all the things which holds me together, you are the one thing which repels me from home mom.
I don't know what sort of personality or true colors you have hidden, but I am pretty sure that the upbringing wich you and my aunts and uncles shared are certainly something which you have failed to give me and will not be able to provide in the future. Grandpa was an awesome father and the best grandpa in the world, and I am lucky enough to have a Granduncle who dotes on my cousins and I as much as Grandpa does. Surrounded by that much love in your childhood, how can you still be so childish and not magnanimous?
You can be a great mother too, if you can consistently be concerned about the state of hygiene in your own home, making sure not to let face towels touch the kitchen floor when you remove them from the hangers. And you should have the basic instinct that sitting on other people's pillow or putting your foot on it is very very very disgusting. I'm sorry it takes my countless rude attempts and blunt statements to point this out to you. But it's fine since you have stopped stepping on my pillows or sitting on them.
Thanks.
Oh yea, and whoever reads this, if you are feeling vulgar then please, you may tell Courts to fuck off and lick their dog's balls. $2500 installment charges which they termed as 'service charge' is definitely pissing me off. And when asked what service does the $2500 'service charge' provide, this fucking operator aka specialist (my ass) said it's an interest rate. He sounded so rude and his vocab is worse than my neighbour's parrot.
I wonder if giving him parrot seeds will teach him more tricks or, words.
Freshly squeezed orange juice is very acidic and KILLS if you have accidentally chewed on your lip days ago and then it turns sore with a bloop of bumpy swell, more widely known as an ulcer. I should have known better.
Alright here are the pics of today's effort, though you can't see how feverish I felt to have travelled half a mile by foot under the scorching sun to scout for chocolate making ingredients, (though it hardly counts as chocolate making because I bought chocolate only to reshape it or drop some nuts so I can claim that they are home made chocs), and the steaming hot melted chocolate in this tube which I can't squeeze without getting my palm burned, not forgetting what I have to clean up etc. They are supposed to be for Yunru's belated birthday, but I wrote the TYR as it is here, forgetting to write it backwards, since it will be flipped when the shape sets.
And of course some are for Arata. He says they look yummy and cute, but I know better. Oh well, since I'm already feverish, what's another mile under the sun tomorrow?
Anyway, this is a part of it. Not all glamorous but that's how home made chocs are supposed to be...? Don't worry they're not lethal. Hygiene issues are one of my forte.
I was showing my boyfriend some pictures of nice clothes from a Taiwanese blog shop (Queen Shop) and getting all enthusiatic about actually purchasing them. Then my boyfriend suggested that we go to Taiwan next month, and asked if it's far.
When I told him that it's just beside Japan, he just said "oh".
I want to kick you in the face Karl. Wtf. Stop asking me out, stop texting me, and stop calling me in the middle of the night. Stop asking if you can come to my house, stop asking me to meet up somewhere or go to your place to talk. YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT. No that's not why I hate you. It's because you are such a sleazy freak you got my mobile off the list from work. It's because you give me the creeps and I have zero tolerance for creeps.
I wish people like you would stop giving me attention. I don't want any of it. Give your free time to my boyfriend and ask him to call me now.
Dammit.
I'm cheering up gradually. I've cheered up. I'm cheerful...?
Whatever.
I'm just a cheerful mess. Geddit?
Let me be the boy. I'd beat you at your own games (though you hardly play any), I think it's easier to be a good boyfriend than to be a good girlfriend. So let me wear the pants, I'm sick of feigning grace and apologising for mistakes I haven't made.
I don't know why you realised that you should have been nicer. I was surprised, honestly. To think that men have narrowly escaped the fate of PMS but to have occassional sensitivity in their soul. Thanks for trying, really. It takes two hands to clap and I'm glad we're both trying. (If you can't see that I am then I have to just blatently point it out that, yes, I'm working on everything I could possibly think of). Slimming yoga, (more of slimming gel and absolute failure at diet control), consumption of detox crap, pills and more pills for good skin (which doesn't quite work as immediate as ideal). ETC.
There's not a soul I can relate to, though if there's a chance that they might wanna listen, I don't want to share what they want to hear to glee. People whom I thought were my friends have disappeared, and the people my "friends" have bitched about text me from time to time. It does feel a little like what we see on TV. Except I'm not rich nor beautiful as Blair, but her simple manipulations and reign happen to be what I can handle. Now that I'm done with school, some juniors/rookies/greenhorns are just itching to take over. As if the exams are just a dream, as if such worthless issues should be of their concern. Study hard, I'd like to yell in their face. Don't let these misconceptions mislead you. It takes more than a pretty face to be Queen, and unfortunately she have the pretty face but I have what it takes.
Daddy is not doing so well. When you have a diabetic father who doesn't watch his diet and intake of carbos, you start to worry because he'll have to pop more antibiotics and those what's-it pills for diabetes, and his skin starts to dehydrate, his eyes starts to get blurry and he gets sleepy and tired all the time. I'm so afraid that my Dad will suddenly leave us, so I'm studying my ass off even for subjects I don't need, (well just it case I might need it for a job). I want to be able to pay for his medical fees, I want to be the best student who gets offered a scholarship so that I don't have to pay for uni.
Hence I stop sleeping as much as I used to. So my skin gets as dull as my voice, the days get darker and the deeper I sink into being pretentiously happy. Obviously working day and night doesn't even make the cut. My Dad have to pay for all these instalments, and my mom LOVES reminding me that it's time for me to pay up whatever she forked out for my mobile and internet bills. My Dad is shorter on cash but he's always giving me the dosh. My mom is probably more well off but she's constantly calculative about everything. She dotes on me as well, buys me all the detox juice and shit cos she can't stand seeing my ugly face, but right now I really can't talk about her like she's a saint.
Back to the boyfriend issue. Errr... Forget it. Tomorrow will be a better day. I'll just sit tight and survive on instant noodles and the scrumptious dinner my Dad makes until I get my next pay cheque to get myself a wallet, mobile and iPod. They have chose to go missing, haywire or dysfunctional all at the same time.
Thanks for reading, you must be really concerned, or... simply bored.
I don't have anything to wear on halloween and I didn't go to nice clubs with my friends. Instead I'm stuck at a boring place where the senior staffs make merry, Barbara and I sneaked to the roof top with some beer. Oh we had to buy our own beer because the office was still running and there weren't even wine. We scattered candy corns all over the floor and played hop scotch. It was very fun until her girlfriend came abrubtly to send us home. I think she's very creepy, the girlfriend. Whatever her name is.
~
My boyfriend is busy with his football match and the reception is very poor. I hardly recieve his text and suddenly there will be a flood of about 20 smses. When I don't hear from him I'll feel so alone. Note the difference between feeling lonely and alone. Since I always am nearly alone.
I love the cheesecake from Hilton last night. I heard that Hilton have the best cheesecake and so far it's very true.
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Back to spring cleaning. It takes my mind off things that shouldn't be bothering me.
Today, you turned into a total stranger.
I don't like it at all.